woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize