Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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