Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
