Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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