I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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