Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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