last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
