I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
