So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
