You're my little dorito
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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