How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
