All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
