im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
