It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
