Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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