yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
