why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
