my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
