Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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