The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize