how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
third nipple confirmed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
