I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
