I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
