I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
