can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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