Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
