how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
