Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your dad touched me again.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
