that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize