I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
