She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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