Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
