I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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