ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
