Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize