I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
