a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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