no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just had sex on a roof
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