Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
