i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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