Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
