i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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