Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
