I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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