you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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