Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
