Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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