Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
