margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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