he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
