Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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