he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
