You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
