I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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