I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
