dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
