the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
