Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
