The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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