We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
