i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize