hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
