if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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