i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize