so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
