The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
