i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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