Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
