so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
