I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
