I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
