I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
