Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
