Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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