at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't put those talents on a resume
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
