4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found puke in my bra..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Randomize
