How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
